Pablo's Review (#2)

Hey guys, sorry about the horrible anticipation and excitement you all probably had leading up to this review, but it is understandable, and completely normal. You were no doubt gnawing on bedposts, and sliding down banisters with all the built up energy from the enthusiasm you have towards these reviews, and I am sorry if you now must replace some furnitúre.

After much careful consideration and timeless thought, I have chosen for this review… the stapler. Now, to some, the stapler is a priceless office supply, while to others the stapler is merely an oversized paper weight. But here for you now is the actual truth about the stapler. After interviewing renowned playwright, accountant, and physicist, Harry Flugêlmann, and after extensive research from Wikipedia (which is always true), I have come to this conclusion: the stapler, despite popular belief, popular opinion and popular demand, does not exist.

Yeah I said it, and I stick by it too.

Here's how it all went down:

The stapler was invented by the Vikings and other assorted Norsemen to confuse people into thinking that it was real, when in reality, the stapler was brought over from Austria by way of Greenland, Iceland, and Swedeland. I mean Sweden.

The Norse god of wisdom and war, Odin, requested of his people that they pay tribute to him by inventing a certain office supply that would shape the future of loose papers everywhere. The wise and brave chieftain of the H?l'àph tribe, Ölá?, said to his second in command Wýglaf to go and tell his squire Šhó?l'éf, to assemble a thinktank and brainstorm several ideas that could satisfy Odin's request. Well they came up with something that resembles a stapler, but when Odin saw it, he liked it so much that he took it to Viking heaven, and it was lost forever…

Eventually Kinko's made another one, and it works better anyway. The stapler gets a thrive-average.

Back to Reviews